Essence of Having Patience in Life and Business

     In our ever growing global society of today, patience is one virtue that is very hard to come by. Everyone is in a hurry to achieve one goal or the other in life that no one has a little time to wait and ponder before diving in. Patience is the act of waiting, been calm, not reacting swiftly, pondering over issues before taking a decision. It is the ability to control one’s emotions or impulses and proceed calmly when faced with difficult situations. Patience is one of the best virtues to have in life as the benefits we gain from patience are unique; and there is no substitute for it. 

Benefit of been Patient

1)      Good listeners: Been patient enables us to be very good listeners, this helps us to act more precisely and not take rash decisions.

2)      Pleasant personality: Having patience makes it easy for people to be around you. This is because you are not easily irritated or angered. No one wants to be friends with people who get angry easily.

3)      Empathy: A patient mind is the only mind that can accommodate the thoughts of others pain and suffering. Patience takes you away from the ‘’me alone’’ syndrome. When you are in a hurry to do things, you really don’t care if you hurt someone as long as you achieve what you want, but patience gives us the opportunity to think of others as we try to achieve the set goals enabling us to put ourselves in their own shoes and decide the right path to take that won’t hurt so much people. It’s easy to make quick judgments about the value of our staffs or projects, but in most cases it’s only by being patient that we know if our judgments are accurate

4)      Growth: Patience fosters growth. It makes us see clearly what we are about to embark on. This is done by watering, feeding and tending to those aspects of our lives and business where we want growth.

5)      Reduces Stress: When you are patient, your stress is reduced as a result of your not jumping to quick conclusions and not in a hurry to achieve some goals.

    Having patience can help you endure a long wait, feel better about yourself, and make you more pleasant to be around generally. It is a virtue that we must have to go through life’s journey.

Swimming: A healthy way to stay fit

 

 

 

 Swimming is one exercise that very many people are afraid of because of their phobia for water.  Phobia aside, it is one of the best and most effective exercise for weight loss. Swimming is a great workout because it requires you to move your whole body against the resistance of the water. It is a great recreational activity for people of all ages.

When the human body is submerged in water, it automatically becomes lighter.

BEFORE YOU DIVE IN:

1) Be sure you know how to swim

2) Exercise your muscles

3) Make sure you have a life guard close by if you don’t know how to swim very well

4) Drink a lot of liquids.

BENEFITS OF SWIMMING:

1)      Helps maintain body weight. Once you start swimming regularly, it won't take long before you start losing all those extra pounds.

2)      Reduces stress

3)      Enhances flexibility

4)      Swimming is a great way to increase muscular strength and muscle tone

5)      Swimming is a strenuous activity that will make your heart healthy. It makes the heart  more efficient in pumping ,which leads to better blood flow throughout your body

 

Secrets to a happy and healthy relationship

   

  A relationship is the coming together of two people who are in love with the aim of achieving future goals and dreams together. These two people are from two different family backgrounds, coupled with various economic conditions they are bound to be some little disagreements and conflicts most of the time. So what does it take for a couple to stay happy and still in love both in good and bad times? Here is how:

1)      Realize that the relationship won’t be as easy as when you first started dating. Get over the initial romantic phase of new love and build a deeper, richer relationship which still has romance and can last for a long time.

2)      Always communicate with your partner. If you have any issue as to how your partner acts or perform a certain task, talk it out with them. All good relationships die as a result of lack of communication.

3)      Spend time together. We are living in a world where both couples work so it gets a bit difficult to create time with our partners. A couple who want to stay happy should try to create the time. There is no substitute for shared quality time.

4)      Find time to resolve all problems and misunderstanding immediately. Leaving an issue unresolved for days may make your partner wonder if you care for them at all.

5)      Work on your relationship. Your relationship won’t be a happy one if you don’t put much effort into making it work.

6)       Be willing to change. If your partner mentions something you do that bothers them, change your behavior gladly.

7)      Keep in touch always if you live in different cities. When you don’t call or pick their call they begin to wonder what you are up to.

8)      Surprise your partner with gifts and kind gestures.

9)      Give each other space and time alone with themselves. Spending time apart is also an important component of a happy relationship. It is healthy to have some separate interests and activities and to come back to the relationship refreshed and ready to share your experiences. Help each other to be efficient.

10)  Be honest at all times. There won’t be a happy relationship if the partners don’t trust themselves.

11)   Be spontaneous. Learn to surprise your partner with gifts, or favorite meal or even plan a surprise trip.

Fixes for Difficult In-Laws that won’t ruin your relationship

    When getting married, it’s a known fact that you are not just getting married to your partner but also to his or her family including extended family members. It gets difficult at times when you have annoying in-laws who find fault in everything you do. Having difficulties with your in-laws doesn’t mean you’re in an unhealthy relationship, what matters is how you handle these challenges.

1)      First you must realize that your in-laws are different people with their own unique culture which might be different from yours.

2)      Treat your in-laws with respect. Respect is not always about age; treat them the way you would want to be treated. If you treat them badly, be sure to get the same in return.

3)       Never put your spouse in a situation where he or she has to choose between you and a relative. If you do so, you're putting your spouse in a nearly impossible bind. Instead, try to understand the bond your spouse has with each member of his or her family.

4)      Figure out the boundaries that you’d like to set with your in-laws and set them e.g. you and your partner should be able to set boundaries as to how often a family member can visit and how long they can stay to avoid conflicts or limit your in-laws taking over your kitchen as if it’s theirs.

5)      Never go behind your spouse's back when you deal with in-laws. And don't tolerate it if your spouse does.

6)      Always communicate your thought to your partner either good or bad. It is best they know how you feel about a particular in-law.

7)      If your partner refuses to stand up for you and simply tells you to try to work it out, then stand up for yourself or limit contact with the in-law.

Your in-laws are important to your spouse, and they’re part of your life. It’s up to both of you to find a way to make time with extended family as enjoyable as possible.

Causes of Infertility in both men and women

      Infertility is one issue that is gradually on the increase across the world today. It is the inability to conceive. Studies have indicated that slightly over half of all cases of infertility are a result of female conditions, while the rest are caused by either sperm disorders or other factors. It has been estimated that about one in six couples faces difficulties in conceiving. If you've been having regular unprotected sex for more than a year and are still not pregnant, you may begin to wonder if you have a fertility problem. Infertility is not always a woman's problem; both women and men do have problems that cause infertility.

Causes of infertility

1)      The consumption of alcohol in excess can lower fertility especially in men.

2)      Excess thyroid hormone can interrupt the menstrual cycle or cause infertility.

3)      Environmental toxins: Exposure to some chemicals including pesticides and lead can make you infertile.

4)      Sexually transmitted diseases if not treated on time can also lead to infertility.

5)      Ovulation disorders, which hinder or prevent the ovaries from releasing eggs.

6)      Treatment for cancer can cause infertility. Radiation and Chemotherapy treatment used for curing cancer can make you sterile.

7)      Abnormal sperm production or function due to various problems, such as undescended testicles, or genetic defects.

8)      Smoking of cigarettes causes infertility. Smoking significantly increases the risk of infertility in both men and women. Smoking may also undermine the effects of fertility treatment.

9)      Serious health conditions such as kidney diseases can result in infertility

10)  Obesity can make you infertile.

11)  Uterine or cervical abnormalities in women. Fibroids may distort the uterine cavity interfering with implantation of the fertilized egg.

12)  Stress : female ovulation and sperm production can be affected by stress

13)  Amenorrhea : the absence of menstruation

If you are having any infertility problem it is best to see your doctor or gynecologist.

How to cope when your wife earns more

    The man is the head of the house and it just seems natural that he should be able to earn more than his wife. But in our society of today, where women are proving themselves in various fields, it is not uncommon to see a wife earning more than her husband. This shift in balance is making most men insecure. Our fathers then largely derived their sense of identity from their ability to provide and protect, and our mothers from their family and domestic lives and, the perception of those traditional roles still runs deeply throughout society.

    Many women are working simply because their families need their income, and increasing numbers are finding themselves accidental breadwinners. A recent study has shown that women are the leading breadwinners in over 30% of households worldwide.

Effect of Higher Earning wife on men

1)      It makes men feel inadequate and less masculine. Men haven’t come to terms with the fact that we’re facing a whole new social moment, in which women are doing better than men are.

2)      Men whose wives make more money and work more are less happy.

3)      Men who make significantly less money than their wives are more likely to cheat, and for those who are unemployed the chance of cheating goes up.

4)      Men who lose their role as primary wage earner often suffer from insomnia and anxiety.

   This is a global trend which might continue, as the percentage of women breadwinners are going up daily. Not all men have difficulty with the concept or reality of their wives making more money.

How to cope when your wife earns more

1)      The man must understand that marriage is a partnership and each person brings strengths to the union.

2)      Work together to figure out what needs to get done each week to keep the children safe and happy and the household orderly and running smoothly.

3)      Always communicate with your wife whenever you feel sidelined in a major decision concerning the family. These problems don’t get solved in a single conversation keep talking.

4)      If you find yourselves getting into repeated and heated arguments about money, decisions, and household tasks, don’t leap to the conclusion that the problem is your partner.

5)      Both Partners need to be friends who provide comfort and support as they both explore such deep and emotional territory.

Advice for higher earning wives

1)      Ask your husband for his advice before you make a financial decision. If he doesn’t give you the right answer, talk about it. He needs to feel heard.

2)      You must work harder at the relationship and pay much more attention to your husband’s self-image.

3)      Don’t forget to act like a lady. That you earn more doesn’t make you a man.

4)      It is very wrong to cut your spouse out of your family financial decision-making just because you earn more.

    Good relationships are certainly hard enough to find , don’t let money issues erode what is otherwise a good relationship.

 

 

Negative effects of Procrastination

     Have you ever wanted to do something and keep postponing it over and over again? That is procrastination. We often avoid things we don’t like and tend to give an excuse why we will do them later, and gradually later turns to hours,  then weeks, months and even years. You can be certain that postponing tasks will almost always result in unexpected problems .When we decide not to deal with things and put them off, all we are doing is making more work for ourselves in the long run, and increased stress because of all the backlogged work you still have to do. The only thing that procrastination is good at is accumulating problems.

Effects of procrastination

1)      Increased Stress: As a results of always having to put off work till later, the work get accumulated and we get more stressed out trying to accomplish all the task . If we don’t learn to manage stress it may lead to depression and other mental issues that will make our lives much harder.

2)      Health problems: Procrastination has a great effect on our health in the long run. This is because when we finally find out how irresponsible we have been in performing task on schedule, we tend to have sleepless night trying to catch up on work not done thereby, putting much strain on the body.

3)      Debt: Not been able to accomplish a task on time can lead to various financial issues. If we are procrastinating when it comes to paying the bills, this can lead to mounting debt, which may have lasting effects on us.

4)      Job problems: It can also have serious effects on our jobs. Jobs are based on target and deadline, if you cannot meet up with the deadline of a job as a result of pracastinating, there is every possibility that your job will be on the line.

     Lives can be ruined by procrastination. What are you procrastinating? Is it a doctor’s appointment for fear of the test results, or proposing to your girlfriend because of fear of commitment? Be responsible, and take charge of your life.

Just because we avoid completing a task today doesn’t mean it will not need to be done tomorrow, learn not to procrastinate.

What you should know about Cyber bullying

    The world is now a global village, where almost everything is done via the internet including bullying. The bullying done on the internet is referred to as cyber bullying. Cyber bullying is the use of emails, Facebook, blogs, text messages etc. to deliberately post harmful messages about someone. I have had the experience of seeing someone been bullied in a chat room by some group of persons posting her nude pictures and the girl in question had to change her id for her to have her sanity. Cyber bullying is getting very rampant in our society especially among youths.

   Cyber bullies, like any bully, want to feel power and control over their victim and they make use of the internet as their playing field. Cyber bullies have created various websites that are dedicated to insulting, mocking and humiliating their prey in the most vicious way possible including the use of you-tube in rare cases. Cyber bullies are especially cowardly and like to hide behind the anonymity that the internet gives to them.

   The target victim becomes the laughing stock of the group as word is spread at the speed of light over broadband connections about the latest humiliating website update, blog post or video upload. On the Internet, anyone can be a bully. Cyber bullying is a serious issue, but you can protect yourself against all the drama.

Effects of Cyber bullying

1)      Depression

2)      public humiliation

3)      Social isolation

4)      Insomnia

Dealing with Cyber bullying

1)      At first be calm; do not respond immediately to a cyber-bully’s attack because the bully wants to manipulate you into engaging in a war of words with them. Let them be confused as to whether you saw the bully mail sent to you or not.

2)      When you do respond, don’t respond angrily because then the bully would know they can control your emotions. Bullies are hoping to get you upset so you slip up and make a mistake.

3)      Never delete Information related to the Cyber Bullying. Save all evidence, this is because Messages sent on the internet are traceable. If you want the law to be involved, make sure to keep all messages as security personnel will be able to use this information to track down the culprit.

4)      After you have saved copies of all the information, you can block the bully.

5)      In extreme cases report the issue to your service provider so they will be able to retrieve the bully’s IP (Internet Protocol) address, and trace the bully right to their houses.

Note to Parents

1)      Keep open communication lines with your children so they will feel comfortable enough to tell you when they are been bullied.

2)      Pay close attention to your children, so you would know when they are acting strange.

3)      Parents should create time to regularly check what their children do on the internet.

 

Always remember that bullies often suffer from low self-esteem and they want to feel better about themselves that’s why they bully others.

Dancing: A fun way to stay healthy

      I am not a very good dancer but I can at least move my body to the beat of any music lol. Do you know dancing is much more than just fun? Dancing  is a very good way to relieve stress and boredom. It is also a great way to keep your body and mind healthy. There are various types of dance which includes hip-hop, salsa, pole dancing, tap dancing, belly dancing etc. It is a great     recreational and sporting choice, because anyone of any age can take part. It doesn’t matter whether it is cold or raining, as dancing is usually done indoors. Dancing enables people to be more active.

Why you should dance:

1)      Dancing helps you loose weight. A good way to reduce those calories is by dancing, join a dance club and dance away those extra pounds.

2)      Dancing reduces stress and helps you age gracefully.

3)      It improves the  condition of your heart and lungs

4)      Dancing makes you have greater self-confidence and self-esteem through mastering new skills

5)      Dance is a great activity for those at risk for cardiovascular disease.

6)      It helps build Stronger bones and reduced risk of osteoporosis

7)      Dancing improves your body posture and balance.

8)      Improves mental health by keeping the brain active.

9)      Dancing increases energy levels among adults

10)  Dancing diminishes depression. When next you are moody just get on your feet and dance.

Dancing is an enjoyable way to be more physically active and stay fit.

 

Living Through a Breakup.

    There are a lot of things newly single people need to do and don’t do after a breakup, which would prevent future mistakes .First you need to take a break. The loss of a relationship can bring on intense heartache and stress, but you need to get real with yourself.

1)      Cry: Don’t live in an illusion that all is well and that you are strong, go to a quiet place and cry your eyes out. You would feel much better after that. It is better to express yourself honestly than pretend you are not affected. Allowing yourself time to grieve is an important part of healing after a breakup. Accepting responsibility for your mistakes or shortcomings is healthy. On the other hand, you must also accept that you are a good person, and that you did your best and you're not the only one who made mistakes.

2)      Eat: Don’t starve yourself to death. Try to eat, and if you can’t cook ask a good friend to come help you out for a while until you are strong enough. But don’t eat so much out of depression, If you have been down on yourself or feeling worthless, turn that around and start loving yourself again. Start showing your body some love too. The best revenge against your ex is looking fabulous.

3)      Keep away from your ex for a while: This would allow you time to heal and get strong enough to be able to talk normally with them without any strings attached.

4)      Be mature about your breakup: Don’t talk about it on twitter or facebook. Take life one day at a time, and gradually you would get back your smile.

5)      Know that everything happens for a reason. There is a plan for you and this was placed on your path for a reason.

   At the end get yourself back, do some shopping and exercising, look fit and radiant. Move on with your life. It’s their loss.

Why people cheat in Relationships

    Wow cheating? This is one act that always baffles me , and i always ask why did they cheat? But the answers are always vague. I honestly don't get why people cheat in relationships, if you can no longer cope just let your partner know and walk away. I did a survey among some of my friends on why people cheat in relationships and these were their answers.

1) Peer pressure: Peer pressure is the act of been influenced to do an act you would not normally do in other to please their friends. Most guys and ladies that cheat are greatly influenced by the approval of their friends, this are people without self esteem and feel they are nothing without their friends. So they rather do it than loose the friendship.
2) Insecurity: Many people are insecure with themselves, and having a side fling makes them feel wanted, and as if they still have what it takes to date. Cheating boosts their ego, which is insecure, and cheating helps them feel better about themselves.
3) Depression: Most people are very unhappy with their lives, and tend to find comfort in the arms of another to feel better about themselves. Depression can lead a person to do many things they normally wouldn’t do, with cheating being one. Sometimes it takes more than a relationship to help a person through an unhappy time in their life. If this is the case, you need to decide if the relationship is repairable.
4) Forced or arranged marriages: People who have had an arranged marriage tend to cheat more. This is because there were forced either by tradition or family to marry someone they don't love.
5) Distance: People can cheat as a result of long distance relationship. Distance influences cheating a lot. It takes a very disciplined person in a long distance relationship to not cheat.

    Cheating is just a coward way out. If you are not happy in your relationship then have an adult conversation with your partner and let them know how you are feeling. Communication is the key to making anything work.

The Male Child Syndrome and girl education.

    I used to think that the issue of a male child was peculiar only to Africa , but how wrong I was. A few days ago in a chat room, an Indian girl was very sad and complained about an issue , but everyone laughed at her because she is such a drama queen. Later I talked with her in the midst of the laughter  and this was her issue ‘’she said she would love to be educated  in a university located in another city and she told her father her plans but all her father talks to her about is how to be a good wife, how to respect her in-laws, how to please her husband. When she complains  her father replies her that she is not a boy so she cant be educated . This makes her feel sad and gives her the impression that she is just like an animal been reared for marriage’’

   This young lady is just an example of what so many girls go through in different countries. Every human being is equal. Yes we know the man is the head of the house, a little educating of the woman will not change the fact that the man is the head of the home.

    Two-thirds of the world's uneducated children are girls, and two-thirds of the world's illiterate adults are women. Around the world, girls and women continue to suffer from a lack of economic opportunity, inadequate health care and education, early marriage, sexual violence, and discrimination. Numerous studies have demonstrated that educating women and girls is the single most effective strategy to ensure the well-being and health of children, and the long-term success of developing economies.

BENEFITS OF EDUCATING A GIRL

1)      Education leads to greater self-esteem and self-confidence, and opens up new horizons for girls, enabling them to discover their own potential, to develop themselves fully and increase their resistance to gender discrimination

2)      Education helps girls and women to have a positive impact on their families: better childcare (vaccination, schooling, etc.), better nutrition, decrease in child mortality, better communication with the children and other family members

3)      Education heightens women’s awareness of the important role they can play in the community and society to find solutions to problems that impede development and social stability. Survival rates, schooling and community productivity increase as a result of women’s education, with a corresponding decrease in mother and infant mortality rates. The community and society thus become more prosperous.

4)      With the awareness of her role as citizen, an educated woman can play a more dynamic role in addressing the economic challenges faced by her country, in the areas of agricultural production, food self-sufficiency, the fight against environmental degradation, the use and conservation of water and energy.

HOW TO MAKE A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK

   Long distance relationships are definitely risky, and if you are unfortunate enough to be far away from a significant other, the prospect of potentially ruining your relationship can seem daunting. However, long distance relationships aren't so difficult that they're impossible. Simple adjustments to your attitude and lifestyle can help you keep that loved one in your life.

1)Ask the important questions at the onset of the relationship to make sure you are both clear on the parameters of the relationship. First of all name your relationship (i.e. :dating, seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend, engaged).

2) Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible. Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection.


3) Avoid the temptation to be controlling. People have free will and no one can or should control another person. As long as you are both interested in being in the relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a difference. You are going to have to trust each other completely if you want the relationship to work.


4) It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. Don't fall in the trap of interrogating your partner every time he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven't met or he/she didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a long-distance relationship doesn't mean your lives will pause.

5) Talk about your future together. Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and frustrations are not in vain.

6) Visit often. Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if the only thing you have is the phone call. You need to see each other up close and personal every chance you get.

7) Be positive. Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a long-distance relationship is essential to keeping your relationship blooming. Being away from your sweetheart is not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives.

Be mindful of your words

I got the story below from a very close friend of mine Sil this morning, and had to share it because it did inspire me . Please read and I hope it does inspire you too.


  ''When I was a child, my mom always prepares food for us. One night in particular when she had  made dinner after a long day's work, mom placed a plate of subzi (Indian curry) and extremely burnt roti(bread) in front of my dad.

   I was waiting to see if anyone noticed the burnt roti. But, Dad just ate his roti and asked me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember I heard mom apologizing to dad for the burnt roti.

   Later that night, I went to kiss dad, good night and I asked him if he really liked his roti burnt. He wrapped me in his arms and said: '' Your mom put in a long hard day at work today and she was really tired. And besides he said a burnt roti never hurts anyone but harsh words do!''


You know life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. Learn to accept peoples faults and choose to celebrate relationships. Life is too short to wake up with regrets! Love the people who make you happy and forget the ones who don't. Enjoy life while you still can and learn to be good to others. Treat people with respect, be mindful of harsh words.

Education and Working Women

    With all the campaign on ''Bring back our girls'', I have been inspired to write about educating women and the career woman syndrome.

     More women are getting educated in Nigeria lately especially in the northern parts. Some of the most qualified women are, actually from the northern part of the country. Women are not ''rubber stamps'' or slaves, and a girl education is never a waste of money.

  Every human being irrespective of gender has a right to be who they want to be in life. Humans were created to work men and women alike, so women too can be educated and work as well as men. Traditionally in remote parts of the country, it is believed that a woman's place is in the home at the side of her husband and if educated and work, they might loose their feminine nature. But the type of work available in recent times are not the hard labour types, but jobs based on skills and education that women are very good at, so gender doesn't really matter. Moreover children and teenagers are running businesses on the internet lately, so likewise women can also work from home.

They are various businesses that don't require you going  to an office  daily, so ladies don't have to be deceived by the ''career women''  syndrome. You can work from wherever you are, just find something you are really good at and start off.

Every woman has been created for a special purpose and every woman has a specific field that her name will define.

Dedicated to the'' Save Our Girls Campaign''